January 2011
My friends and I went to Target, and one of my friends hopped in the cart with me, while the other pushed us around the store. At one point, the cart pushing friend lost control of the cart and pushed it into a display, knocking everything down — in front of a Target employee. We all stared at the mess, then stared at each other, and the employee said, “I saw nothing” and walked...
December 2010
Today I heard about the site My Life is Twilight. I tried to go there, but Web of Trust blocked me, saying it was an untrustworthy site. Thanks, WoT. MLIA.
Attention All Avid MLIA Readers: I was thinking about how cool it would be if MLIA published a book of the best stories. Maybe if we show enough interest it will be published. Click on average if you’re interested and hopefully the power of Harry Potter, ninjas, and cats will bring us the joy of an MLIA book.
Today I did a Chinese fire drill with my friends (you run around your car while the light is red). Not only did the car next to us start a domino effect of chinese fire drilling, but even the elderly couple tried to do it. MLIA
Today while working at Dunkin Donuts, a lady asked me what flavor Hot Chocolate was. She never understood why I couldn’t stop laughing. MLIA
Today, one of my friends grabbed what she thought was lip gloss from my pencil case. After she had put it on she gave me a confused look and her lips were very sticky. Turns out, glue stick isn’t meant to be put on your lips. MLIA.
Today while watching TV I saw an advert for McDonalds chips, the advert said ‘Now made with REAL potato!’ What we were eating before? MLIA.
Today my friend handed me a picture and said “This is of me when I was younger.” To which I cleverly replied; “Every picture is of you when you were younger.” MLIA.
A few weeks ago my grandma died. When she was in the hospital I would read her MLIA stories aloud. She loved the stories, so please, MLIA, for my grandma. MLIA
Today, I went on mylifeistwilight.com for the first time. I couldn’t even get through one page of it. I had to come back to MLIA to recover. The average word of the day is sorry. Me too MLIA, me too. MLIA.
Today, while I was driving I looked to my right and noticed the car next to me was completely identical to my car. Then I looked to my left, and that car was completely the same as mine too. Amused, I honked twice. Then the other two cars honked twice too. And then we came to an inter section, and I kept going straight, and one of the other cars turned right, and the other turned left. People on...
Today, I found a store that sells carstaches. They’re moustaches for your car. MLIA
When me and my friends were at Target we decided to sit on a couch and point at the ceiling. Almost everyone who walked by us looked up. MLIA
I am an MK (missionary kid) and as such I tend to get asked very odd questions. One of the oddest was over facebook. What was the question? “Do you have internet?” No, I don’t. MLIA
Today, I was studying for some of my finals. After an hour, I wanted to take a break but knew I should keep studying. While debating to take a break or not, I ate a piece of Dove chocolate. I read the wrapper and it said: “There’s a time for compromise. It’s called ‘later.’” I took a break. MLIA
Today, I was listening to my iPod while heating up hot chocolate in the microwave. As a cuss word was said in the song I was listening to at the time, the microwave beeped to let me know that my hot chocolate was done. Thank you, microwave, for protecting my ears from such foul language. MLIA
A couple of weeks ago, my friends and I were in Spanish Club discussing the new Harry Potter movie. We were all really excited about having gone to the midnight premier. When my teacher realized what we were talking about, she walked up to us and said, “If you give any part of that movie away, I swear I will fail you,” with one of the most serious looks I’ve ever seen on her...
One christmas morning, back when I was maybe 5, me and my sister woke up to find that santa had left white snow prints on our fireplace. We thought it was soo exciting, and that’s what kept me beleiving in santa all the way up to when I was 11 years old. Not long ago, mum said to me in a conversation, “Yeah, like, remeber that time Dad put the baby powder to say that santa had...
Today, the Justin bieber commercial for his tour in Australia came on television. My mum said “Ugggh, He’s only coming because no one likes him in America” I really love my mum. MLIA
Today in geometry we were supposed to have a test that we had been preparing for for 3 straight weeks. Instead we watched my teacher reach level 10 on pacman, and for the rest of the class we watched family guy. MLIA
Today, I was reading the 7th Harry Potter (again) at the start of my Nutrition class. As my teacher began his lecture, I started to put the book away. He looked at me and said “Why are you putting that away? It’s WAY more interesting than what I have to say.” I was then given permission to sit in his chair and read. Best. Teacher. Ever. MLIA
Today on my way to the bus stop, an old man was sweeping his porch. As i approached him he put his broomstick up and made me limbo under it. I did, then continued on my way. MLIA
Today, my dad just returned from Pakistan. While he was unpacking he gave us all our presents. He brought me a Japanese kimono. Confused? Yeah, me too. MLIA
For the past few weeks I have been a good person and have been watering the plant in the lobby of the bank I work at everyday. But today when I came to work I found that a note had been taped to the edge of the plant saying “Dear who ever has been watering the plant. Please stop. The plant is fake”. MLIA
Today I realized that if you are what you eat, then voldemort is a unicorn.MLIA
Today I went to an old fashioned restaurant. It was really big so they would call your group over a microphone. When the employee asked what my last name was I said Dance. We were called as “Dance party of 4, Dance party of 4 you will now be seated” We walked in dancing with everyone watching and laughing. MLIA
Today, my aunt told me a story. She got this plant for her birthday, and even though her plants always die, she decided that she would be sure to take care of this one. She watered it everyday, and was proud to announce to my uncle and cousins; a month later, that it was still alive. My cousins felt obliged to inform her “Mom, the plant is plastic.” HerLIA
Today, I deleted my facebook account so I would stop wasting time and focus on studying for finals. So instead I have been reading Mlia posts for the last 3 hours. For some reason I do not consider this a waste of time. MLIA
Today, I decided to join the Google vs Yahoo war. I typed in “violence is” for both. Yahoo gave me, “Violence is never the answer.” Google gave me “Violence is as American as apple pie.” Gotta love Google. MLIA
I work at a restaurant, and there was a birthday guy at one of the tables. Well, when everyone came out to sing him “Happy Birthday” he was in the bathroom, so all of the male servers and bussers went into the bathroom to sing to him. While he was in the stall. Going to the bathroom. MLIA
Today my dad told me that when I was a little girl I used to catch crabs and put them in pokéballs. Not only did I do this, but I attacked randoms at the beach while throwing the pokéball screaming “KRABBY, I CHOOSE YOU!!” Safe to say I will be doing this again soon. MLIA
A few weeks ago I was in a car crash and so can’t get up without any help. Today, I fell asleep on the sofa, my mum went out with her boyfriend leaving me with my older sister. She sneaked out on a date with her new boyfriend leaving me stuck on the sofa, she also left me some Ben&Jerry’s ice-cream, A toy dinosaur, all the Harry Potter films on one dvd ready so all I had to do was...
Today I hadn’t done my work and my teacher asked me why. I told her ‘Tim’ had eaten it, seeing as ‘Tim’ is the name of my netbook. She thought I meant the boy who happens to be called Tim and sits next to me. We both got sent home. MLIA.
Today in my Psychology lecture of 500 students, a kid dressed as a banana randomly ran through the door screeching while another kid dressed as a gorilla chased him throughout the lecture hall. Funniest. Moment. Ever. MLIA.
Today I overheard a woman tell her young son, who was throwing a tantrum, to “save it for daddy”. He did. MLIA
I looked in the mirror and saw my tongue was blue. I was like, oh cool. Until I realized I hadn’t eaten anything blue today. MLIA.
The other day in my History class, my teacher said that whoever could raise their hand and hum the tune of the national anthem would get a free homework pass. My hand, of coarse, was the first to come up. I stood up and cleared my throat and without really thinking… I hummed the Harry Potter theme song. I still got a free homework pass. MLIA
The other day I was showing my mom a few stories on mlia, she looked at the screen and said, “This girl must have a busy life” I looked at her and said, “who, what girl?” she said “it’s the same girl posting every story” I said, “no it’s not why would you think that?” she said, “look at her signature, it’s Mila posting all of...
Today we got a letter in the mail. Apparantly my older brother, John, is being invited to study in England for a year. I don’t have a brother at all. I have so many questions. MLIA
Today, I spoke to my german exchange student in german, since I’m pretty fluent. She gave me this weird look and stared at me in horror…then I realised I had somehow switched to Japanese in the middle of the conversation. MLIA.
Today I was eating a rotisserie chicken from Sam’s Club and reading the packaging, as I do. Near the bottom, it said “200% Satisfaction Guaranteed” Way to be, chicken. Way to be.
Today, as an answer to one question on my history study guide, I wrote out the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. My teacher put a question mark by my answer and then filled in the extended edition lyrics I was missing. Officially my new favorite teacher. MLIA
Today I went to the place where I work out. I went into the sauna and it warned me not to go in if I was pregrant. It was the mens locker room. MLIA
Today, while at the super market, a Taylor Swift song came on. Naturally, I started singing and before I knew it the entire fruit section was singing it. The best part was not that everyone acted as if it didn’t happen, but it was the hot guy who came up to me and told me to put this story on MLIA. I got his number. MLIA
Last night when my friend and I were texting instead of telling me that she was going to sleep she said “I’m off to the fortress of pillows of restitude.” I will never again call it a bed. MLIA
Today, my math teacher dropped his chalk, bounced it off the board, and caught it, yelling “LIKE A NINJA!!!” and continued teaching us the Pythagorean Theory, as if nothing happened. HisLIA
Today, I ran up to a random guy, shoved a piece of paper in his hand and said, “In 20 years, dial this number, you’ll know what to do” and ran off. My friend, dressed in a suit, went up to him less than a minute later and said, “Did a girl in a leather trenchcoat just give you a phone number? I’ll be needing that back.” Best part, the guy shoved the number in...
Today I babysat for some neighbor kids. There was a nine year old and a four year old, and upon asking the four year old if she wanted to watch Hannah Montana, she replies, “NO! I wanna watch Harry Potter!” and starts parading around the room screaming “GO GRYFFINDOR!” I now have faith in the younger generation. MLIA
Today, someone fell asleep in English class. My teacher woke him up by shooting rubber bands at his head from her desk. MLIA
Today, I was helping my friend work out. She said she was too lazy to run anymore. I took her iPod and put the Pokemon theme song on repeat. She ran for three hours straight. MLIA.