January 2012
Today, I made brownies. Jokingly, I told my brother not to offer brownies to everyone he sees walking down the sidewalk. So what does he do? Runs outside, sees an old man strolling along with his walker, so my bro yells “HEY, DO YOU WANT A BROWNIE?” The old man grumped “NO!” and continued on his walk. I love my brother. Day. Made. MLIA
Today, me & my friend went to 5 Below to buy Christmas presents. We decided to buy our friend a dart board & a Justin Bieber poster so she can throw darts at him. When we were paying, we were $3 short. The man at the register gave us a discount after figuring out what we were doing. MLIA
December 2011
Today, my older sister told me that last night i sleep walked into my living room, watched her for a couple of minutes, then said “astronauts are waiting outside for their pancakes on the boat, feed them” i really wish i was awake to see the look on her face. MLIA.
Today I met the guy I like at the park. We spent the entire time wizard battling and playing ninja’s. I knew I liked him for a reason. OurLAA
Today (7 seconds ago), I was on mysteryseeker.com and I typed in what is my mission. My mission is to make several paper airpanes, write love haikus on them, and then throw them into the street. Thanks for making my life epic, MysterySeeker. You have never failed me. MLIA
A while ago, I was helping out at pizza ranch and my teacher shows up there, while walking backwards he runs into a pole and starts saying, “Oh, I am very sorry” he then turns around and says, “Oh, your not even a person” Then continues on walking. MT(eacher’s)LIA
Today I was feeling sad, and my friend, trying to cheer me up, posted a happy birthday on my wall. At least 100 others did the same. It’s June 17th and my birthday is in January. It made my day. MLIA.
Today my little sister’s friend was living at my house again. And she started to doodle on my folder, half way through her doodle she looked up and said,” Wait a flying whalecorn is just a flying narwhal.” A flying whalecorn is now in sharpie on my folder. OLAA
Last weekend, my friends and I were looking for movies on tv and we came across The Mummy Returns. We decided to watch it as none of us had seen it in a long time. 10 minutes later, mum opened the door and in stumbled my stepdad, completely covered in toliet paper making ‘dying noises’, holding his arms out like a mummy. Then our dog ran in with the rest of the loo roll AND the...
Yesterday, my class started secret santa. My secret santa got me a crayola coloring book and crayons. Today my secret santa gave me dinosaur finger puppets. Who ever you are, I LOVE YOU! MILA
Today I saw a post that said “The other day I went to visit colleges with my dad. I walked through the halls of the dorms and there were colored in Disney coloring pages. I then found out there was a Quidditch club, a Disney club, and a coloring club. I’m definitely applying. MLIA.” I think I speak for all of us when I ask what college is this??
Today while going out for lunch my mum parked the car extremely close to the one in front. Instead of walking around the car to get out, I ninja rolled across the hood then proceeded to get a high five from a 70 something year old man at a bus stop and he said “I do that in my spare time too.” MLIA.
Today “Put a Ring On It” came on the radio and my 9 year old nephew with aspergers syndrome moonwalked into the room. I stood up and we danced out the rest of the 4 minute song, once it was over he went back to laying with legos and i went back to fixing the printer. Not a word said between the two of us. MLIA
I was on DBPB and saw this: Dear Waldo, please return my invisibility cloak ASAP. Sincerly, H. Potter. Well THAT explains a lot.
Today my teacher was doing a prize thing. So we all had to put our names on paper and put it in a hat. Instead of putting my name I put Harry potter to see if she would call me. She did. But after she did she looked at me and said you win. Guess what name I’m using next time? Mlia
Last night, I realized I pretty much sprint through my house when it’s dark. Why? I’m scared of the dark; and I don’t want the monster that’s chasing to get me. When I reach my room it’s like a impenetrable force field that nothing can get through. MLIA.
Today, while I was eating a bowl of cereal, I saw my sister acting like a ninja. I looked away uninterested then heard a loud thud, I turned to see my sister sucking her thumb. Turns out she hit her thumb… On her head HLIA
So, today I was reading fun facts on my phone and I came across one that said “An average American will spend an average of 6 months during his lifetime waiting at red lights.” I immediately thought well then my dad isn’t very average is he? He insists on slowing down when he sees a red light, 4 blocks before he reaches the light, just so he won’t have to stop at the light....
Today my friend, who I got addicted to MLIA, was telling me about how she was trying to get her mom to give her phone back. Aparently she said “I don’t even miss talking to my boyfriend! I just want it for facebook and MLIA!” Yep, she’s definitely addicted. HLIA.
Today in my dream I woke up at 7:30. When I really woke up and saw it was 7. I immediately thought I had time traveled. MLIA.
Today, I found out that when my parents were young, my dad had his friend go into my moms work (at a hotel), and put on the batman theme song loud enough for everyone to hear. He then ran in dressed as batman, kissed her, handed her a rose, and ran out again. They’ve been together ever since. T(heir)LIA
Today, while at the zoo, a llama tried to pull down my pants. MLIA
Today I saw a gang of kids passing a construction field. They threw snowballs at the workers. Instead of getting angry the boss yelled; Get down! We’re under attack! And proceded to use an excavator as a shield. Then an awesom snowball battle erupted. MLIA
Today I read a post that said: “Today I read an MLIA that said, ‘Today, I learned the J.K Rowling based Hogwarts on my school. Mind. Blown. MLIA.’ I think I am speaking for all MLIA-ers when I ask; WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO? Even if I can’t go to school anymore, I’d like to make my children attend. MLIA” …you’re a very good mother. YLIA
November 2011
Google vs. Yahoo. I typed in “mlia is”
Google said (among others): MLIA is the best website ever, and MLIA is average.
Yahoo… said nothing.
GOOGLE WINS
Today, my mom heard me talking in my sleep so she came into my room to see what was going on. Apparently, I then barked at her until she left the room…MLIA
Today, my friends and I brought our wands to the Deathly Hallows midnight premiere. We cast spells at each other. After I killed my friend with the worst unforgivable curse and she died dramatically, the rest of the people in line applauded. MLIA.
Today I read on FML “Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, “Do you believe in unicorns?” I answered, “No.” He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, “BELIEVE!” FML” I think the kid mentioned here is one of us. MLIA (and so is his)
Today I was at the mall with a friend. Suddenly she laughed and said ‘That guy was wearing a Where’s Waldo shirt!’ I turned around quickly, asking where. She looked around for a second before saying, disappointed, that he must have disappeared. It took me a minute, but then I started laughing. It took her a minute longer to realize why I was laughing. MLIA.
Today, my friend gave me a piggyack ride all around our school campus. While I was on her back, we were singing “Colors of the Wind” at the top of our lungs. Did the teachers stop us? No, they were bowling with frozen turkeys. OurLIA
Today, I was reading MLIA and there was an ad on the bottom that said “What do you smell like to Edward Cullen?” In my head I thought, “Dinner” and started laughing. I’m in the middle of class and my teacher came over and gave me a high five. MLIA
One time my family and best friend were headed home from my uncles house. We were just driving along when a cop turned on his lights and siren, so my dad pulled over. The cop came over and my dad asked what the problem was and the cop said” Your fine, I was just trying to turn the radio on but hit the lights instead” HisLIA.
Yesterday, we got talking about blindness and deafness and my friend says, “How would you describe the color blue to a deaf person?” And of course we laugh at her and explain that you wouldn’t have to because they could just see it. MLIA.
Today, I read the label on my new shirt. It said, “Dry clean only, please do not eat.” I am confused. MLIA.
Today,(actually a month ago) my friend had a fake mustache on the back of her phone , so I gave her a high-five. Then, she gave it to me , because she knows I enjoy mustaches. I ran upstairs and put it on my door , then took a picture and sent it to my friend. We had a one hour conversation about it. She came over the next week or so, just to see my door. She spent the night here, and what did we...
Today, I was on love calculator and no matter what I typed in, I received a low chance of our relationships lasting. Finally, becoming fed up, I typed in Yoda. It’s good to know that our relationship has a 96% chance of lasting. I can’t wait until the wedding. MLIA
Today while driving I was stopped at a red light. My windows were down, and the car next to me saw this. The guy in the car next to me rolled down his window and offered me a piece of pie. Best piece of cherry pie i’ve ever tasted. MLIA
Today, I was at work as a bagger for a local grocery store when two lightsabers came down the belt. The cashier and I immediately stopped mid-order, looked at each other, and grabbed the nearest lightsaber. We then proceeded to have a lightsaber war until the little boys in the cart started screaming in jealousy. I knew I picked the right place to work. MLIA
Today, I found out that I am a munchkin in our school’s production of The Wizard of Oz. I’m 5’10”. Definitely way taller than any munchkin should ever be. MLIA.
Today I was texting my friend when she said she was outside of my house watching me. I didnt beleive her but looked out my window just to be sure. She was looking in my window with binoculars while sitting on a huge plastic cow. I love my friends! MLIA
My friend screamed out “TREE!” and i ran to her seat and said “NO WAY! WHERE?!” everyone stared at us because we were driving through a forest. OLAA
Today, I got into a car accident. The first words the other passenger said when we got out of our car were, “Like a good neighbor state farm is there!” He stared contently at where he pointed, but after a few seconds said, “Dammit.” MLIA.
My mom got mad at me for going over the limit on internet for my phone, when she asked me why I told her that it was because of MLIA. Not knowing what MLIA is, I decided to show her the website, guess who is no longer grounded for getting charged an extra $200 on her phone bill. :) MLIA
Today, I went outside to feed the birds. A squirrel was stealing food out of their feeder. I looked around and didn’t see anyone so I began flapping my wings and cawing to scare him away. When He rushed down the tree i shouted, “THATS RIGHT!!! IM EMPEROR OF THE BIRDS!” i then turned around to go inside. My neighbor was staring at me from his garden
Today on the way to class I dropped a couple pens in the parking lot, only grabbed one and ran off to class. When I got to my car after class there was a pen sitting in the cup holder. My doors had been locked. Thank you pen ninja! MLIA
Today, while on MLIA, I was reading about how everyone didn’t know how to react to murderers behind their shower curtains. I personally have glass, so no murderers can scare me. Bring it on, I know your weakness. MLIA
While I facebook, I tried to find an interesting language to change it to. I stumbled upon ‘English(UK).’ The only thing different was the fact that I read everything in my head with a British accent.
October 2011
I’m sitting in science class today and a girl asks the teacher, “How did they manage to paint the equator on the ocean? Paint isn’t that waterproof.” My teacher slaps himself in the face. I love my teachers.
Today, it is my birthday. Lately, I have been threatening my roommate with my nerf guns and he didn’t like it. Guess who showed up with a new automatic nerf gun and declared war for my birthday? Best present ever. MLIA
Today, I went to the store to buy some peaches. I came home with Footie-pajamas and an orange… MLIA